[ It's almost alarming to see him without Pup. Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise and she actually manages a bit of a grin as he approaches, alone. ]
What if I'd found something special for the dog? The whole thing would be ruined.
[ Of course, that isn't why she'd asked to meet with him. The grin fades. ]
We - I've been putting this off, but... [ Cecily, growing uncomfortable, averts her gaze and thumbs absent-mindedly at the anchor. ] There's time, here. A lot more than we might have back home.
[ Than I might have. Solemn, she lifts her eyes again to meet his. ]
You and I both know that this thing is killing me, and... in case we can't find a way to stop it - which I intend to do, by the way - I want to talk about the Inquisition. About... what I'd like for it, after.
[ Yes, all right, it's worrying, but it's necessary. And it's come very late, later than it should have. ]
[ his first instinct is to deny it. vehemently. more so than he did in skyhold's little chapel before she went off to face corypheus for the last time. cecily is his wife and he can't imagine life without her--doesn't want to.
and yet.
cullen has known that this was coming. how could he not, with how her condition has degenerated so much over time, and with the exalted council being called? and how can he do anything but make sure her wishes are heard and carried out? he is her commander and her husband; it's his duty. he has always endured for his duty and so too shall he endure the worst, should it come to pass.
he sighs quietly and nods. ] Alright. Let's talk.
[ or rather, cecily should talk and he'll listen. ]
[ Nothing is ever easy for them, it seems. She sees the flickers of defiance and then acceptance in his face and it's painful, all of it. Cecily had imagined his reaction and it had been hard to bear then, just in her imagining.
It's necessary, though. She tells herself this a lot lately. ]
First, you've got to know: I have no intention of dying. The blighted mark may be killing me, true, but I am not going to die. All right?
[ Her wickedly good luck ought to see her through one more time. She'd survived worse odds, and someone in Thedas has to have some idea of how to stem the anchor's progression.
If it could be done, you would have done it before, says a little voice. She's quick to argue, though, as she always is. I had better things to do. We've been busy.
And so they had. ]
And... [ Oh, Maker. She's going to say it. The thought flits from her brain to her mouth and she can't do anything but to weakly grasp at it as it slips through her metaphorical fingers. Cecily does blush, though, the tiniest bit. ] ... I'd like to see what Aislin turns out to be like.
[ its a relief to hear her say it. cullen doesn't think she'd walk into anything intending to die, but... this anchor. it's beyond anything they've dealt with before. the fear of it taking her from him is one that has lived nestled in his chest for a very long time. it's one he hasn't wanted to voice for fear of discouraging her. but cecily bringing it up and being determined? that takes a weight off his shoulders.
and her next words take the breath from his lungs.
it's something he's tried not to think about. easier said than done, but he's tried. tried to imagine he never dreamt of a little girl with his riot of curls and cecily's mischievous smile. tried to ignore the way that he wants something like that for their future now that he's seen what it could be like.
there's no helping the tremulous smile that slowly tugs at cullen's lips. ] Are you sure? [ he has to ask. has to know her certainty before he lets himself hope. ]
[ The smile is an encouragement and it draws out one from Cecily in turn. She leans forward to press a kiss to his lips, gently bumping their foreheads together in assurance. ]
Always. [ Of this, at least, she's sure. With that future ideal in mind, she draws back a little, clearing her throat, pressing herself to move on to business rather than speculate about the happiness that they both want for their shared lives. ]
All right. Firstly - and I'll discuss all this with Leliana - I do not want to give in to the pressure from those asses at the Council. We know that we're not about to conquer the entirety of Thedas, and if the Inquisition is broken down entirely, it will be to no one's benefit. Orlais' situation is still precarious even after preventing Celene's assassination - leaving Gaspard alive will have seen to that. Ferelden may be stable, but Queen Anora has no heir and that will bring a little chaos to them soon enough. They all need us. We can't disband the Inquisition, not after everything we've seen and done.
[ There's a pause, and she eyes him now, almost warily. ]
That said... should it work out that way and the Inquisition isn't strong-armed into dissolving... I don't want you involved. [ Then, quickly, anticipating protest: ] It's your life, you're welcome to do what makes you happy, but I... have something else I think is better suited for your efforts.
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What if I'd found something special for the dog? The whole thing would be ruined.
[ Of course, that isn't why she'd asked to meet with him. The grin fades. ]
We - I've been putting this off, but... [ Cecily, growing uncomfortable, averts her gaze and thumbs absent-mindedly at the anchor. ] There's time, here. A lot more than we might have back home.
[ Than I might have. Solemn, she lifts her eyes again to meet his. ]
You and I both know that this thing is killing me, and... in case we can't find a way to stop it - which I intend to do, by the way - I want to talk about the Inquisition. About... what I'd like for it, after.
[ Yes, all right, it's worrying, but it's necessary. And it's come very late, later than it should have. ]
no subject
and yet.
cullen has known that this was coming. how could he not, with how her condition has degenerated so much over time, and with the exalted council being called? and how can he do anything but make sure her wishes are heard and carried out? he is her commander and her husband; it's his duty. he has always endured for his duty and so too shall he endure the worst, should it come to pass.
he sighs quietly and nods. ] Alright. Let's talk.
[ or rather, cecily should talk and he'll listen. ]
no subject
It's necessary, though. She tells herself this a lot lately. ]
First, you've got to know: I have no intention of dying. The blighted mark may be killing me, true, but I am not going to die. All right?
[ Her wickedly good luck ought to see her through one more time. She'd survived worse odds, and someone in Thedas has to have some idea of how to stem the anchor's progression.
If it could be done, you would have done it before, says a little voice. She's quick to argue, though, as she always is. I had better things to do. We've been busy.
And so they had. ]
And... [ Oh, Maker. She's going to say it. The thought flits from her brain to her mouth and she can't do anything but to weakly grasp at it as it slips through her metaphorical fingers. Cecily does blush, though, the tiniest bit. ] ... I'd like to see what Aislin turns out to be like.
no subject
and her next words take the breath from his lungs.
it's something he's tried not to think about. easier said than done, but he's tried. tried to imagine he never dreamt of a little girl with his riot of curls and cecily's mischievous smile. tried to ignore the way that he wants something like that for their future now that he's seen what it could be like.
there's no helping the tremulous smile that slowly tugs at cullen's lips. ] Are you sure? [ he has to ask. has to know her certainty before he lets himself hope. ]
no subject
Always. [ Of this, at least, she's sure. With that future ideal in mind, she draws back a little, clearing her throat, pressing herself to move on to business rather than speculate about the happiness that they both want for their shared lives. ]
All right. Firstly - and I'll discuss all this with Leliana - I do not want to give in to the pressure from those asses at the Council. We know that we're not about to conquer the entirety of Thedas, and if the Inquisition is broken down entirely, it will be to no one's benefit. Orlais' situation is still precarious even after preventing Celene's assassination - leaving Gaspard alive will have seen to that. Ferelden may be stable, but Queen Anora has no heir and that will bring a little chaos to them soon enough. They all need us. We can't disband the Inquisition, not after everything we've seen and done.
[ There's a pause, and she eyes him now, almost warily. ]
That said... should it work out that way and the Inquisition isn't strong-armed into dissolving... I don't want you involved. [ Then, quickly, anticipating protest: ] It's your life, you're welcome to do what makes you happy, but I... have something else I think is better suited for your efforts.