[ She starts forward when he enters, heart pounding. She's relieved to see him, exasperated that he's the first to apologize, scared to pieces that he may decide to pack up for good (which is irrational, isn't it?). The rarely-flustered Inquisitor averts her gaze, face reddening with the shame of it all. For the things that she said. For the things that she thought, that he never heard, that she would make sure he never, ever heard. ]
I'm so... so sorry. [ At least it hadn't come to blows; as much as she'd like to tell herself that it would never happen, the image of the pair of them resorting to some kind of violence, stubborn and angry, is imaginable. ] I said- ... I was hateful, and petty, and I don't know what came over me.
[ Not to mention highly dramatic. I told him to let me be killed.
Finally, she looks back up, anxieties spilling out into the way she's set her jaw and into her searching eyes. ]
I can move into the spare room. [ Cecily says quietly. ] Just... stay here. With us.
[ he shakes his head, moving closer before she can get the word room out fully. gently, carefully, he cups her face in his hands. yesterday, he would not have been able to do this, so blinded was he by his anger. it frightens him. reminds him of his time in kirkwall and brings shame down to rest heavily on his shoulders. he has been trying so very hard to not be the kind of man who is ruled by his fear and rage, and he has slipped in a terrible way.
even so, cullen won't surrender this. ]
No, you don't--if anyone should be moving it should be me.
[ he swallows hard and searches her face. for what, he's not exactly sure. reassurance that she won't turn him out on his ear? that this hasn't ruined their new-not-yet marriage? ]
We were neither of us in our right minds. You have nothing to be sorry for. And I--I would rather we stay together, if you will still have me.
[ She isn't about to let herself off the hook, but even so, it's a relief and a blessing to have him move in so quickly, to reach out, to reassure. There's still a breathless, disbelieving laugh at what he says at first; as if this could be at all his fault when all he'd done, really, was look out for her safety.
It isn't something she should allow herself, but Cecily gently tugs free from his hands to lean in and press her lips to his, lingering there for a moment before withdrawing and taking something from her pocket. When she raises her hand to show him, it's the coin he gave her, for luck, sitting in her palm. ]
I arrived with it. [ She says softly. ] And... I know - I've known this whole time - that you've just been trying to keep me from doing something stupid, or dangerous. Or both. I've never been very good at taking good advice.
[ Cecily looks up again after turning the coin over, carefully monitoring his expression, his reaction. ]
I would rather us stay together, too. [ She finishes. ] And for more than just your stopping me from being a bloody idiot.
[ The Inquisitor isn't very good with sentiment, but in this instance, it needs to be said. ]
[ he smiles, a little wry and a lot soft, then leans in to press a kiss to her forehead. ]
I love you too, and you don't need to do anything. I forgive you.
[ reaching down, he curls his fingers over the hand holding branson's coin. it's a little silly, maybe, but the fact that cecily still has it with her is reassuring. and it warms his heart. ]
One thing I did say when we... when we fought was at least partially true--I don't mind you going out on your own. I would prefer it if you took someone else, if not me, but I know how good you are with that bow of yours. I don't want you to think that I doubt you, doubt your skill or your leadership.
[ because he doesn't. he's in awe of it most of the time, if he's honest. cullen could sit and watch her shoot things for quite a while, and not just because she has very nice shoulders. ]
[ Oh, now they're just being sappy. She wrinkles her nose, but it's undermined by a sheepish grin that appears. ]
Don't go building me up now that I've been an ass. [ Cecily jabs him playfully in the chest, narrowing her eyes, smile still present, and playful. ] I can admit it when I'm wrong, dammit, no matter what people say.
[ ... But it means a lot, and he knows, which is likely why he said that. She'd never thought much of herself as a leader, but having his support as a partner and just as a person both means the world.
Cecily unfurls her hand and gently replaces the coin, back to safety. ]
People who're meant to be initiates aren't supposed to be off training with bows. [ She adds ruefully, clearing thinking of her time pre-Conclave. ] Aren't supposed to do much, really.
[ And they've got stricter vows, mister chastity optional. ]
[ her words coax a smile from him, and cullen settles his hands on her waist, not quite holding her but close enough. ]
You were wasted on the Chantry.
[ and part of him is very glad that she was either too noble or too sneaky to have ended up recruited as a templar hunter. she would have been wasted there as well, but in a completely different way. ]
Though I can't say I'm not grateful to it for bringing you to me.
[ you know what, if they're gonna be sappy, he's just going to go all in. he had been bracing for the worst earlier, and now they've both resolved to stick together. that's more than a little relieving and deserves some sappiness. ]
Would have been. [ She corrects, because she's proud of her having dodged the actual, official process for as long as she had. It had helped that there had been arguments of just marrying her off, instead, and that dissent had give her time.
Cecily hums contentedly, raising her arms to wrap around his neck. ]
Yes, I'm so lucky to have been volunteered as a representative to the Conclave. [ She wrinkles her nose, still smiling, but there's a lot of complication behind the statement. Of course she's grateful, forever grateful to have been brought into the fold of the Inquisition, to have met the people she had, to finally find a place in the world that she didn't completely abhor. Still, there's the issue of the explosion that was meant to have killed her along with everyone else, the damage that trailed along after the anchor, and, least of all, her being unused to a position of leadership where people were, for some reason, looking up to her. ]
[ cullen lets the sarcasm pass by without comment. right now isn't the time for him to try and convince her of that everything had been worth it, in the end. no, that could just end up in another argument and that's... that's something he'd like to avoid for a while. sleeping on his own has been more difficult than he remembers.
instead of replying, he leans down and kisses her softly, slowly. partially as a distraction and partially because he just likes kissing her. a lot. and he's missed it. so much so that he's apparently forgotten both the dog that has tottered off somewhere and the fact that they live with dorian and thom, either of whom could hypothetically wander in and interrupt what should be a private moment. ]
[ Oh, she knows. She has a hard time with sincerity as far as sentiment goes, but she would admit (and mean it) that everything had worked out fine once they'd stopped Corypheus. She isn't about to argue it and can't even tease him much more, not when he leans down and presses his lips to hers. Cecily hums happily against them, leaning into the kiss, overwhelmingly glad to have him back. She doesn't care a whit that the others could wander in and observe; it's only a kiss, dammit, and she refuses to acknowledge any embarrassment, though there isn't any to be found, at present.
The kiss is languid, almost painfully so, and she has to wonder if he's doing it on purpose. After going a while without the contact, she admits a needy, almost frustrated nose, snaking a hand around his neck to keep him close. She won't rush it because it's good, but it's hard not to tug him downward with a more demanding gesture.
[ it is on purpose, but probably not for the reason she's thinking. he does it not to annoy her or anything similar, but because when things are like this--unhurried, relaxed almost--he feels like he could get lost in the slide of her mouth on his. cullen could very happy waste a morning (or an afternoon, or a day) doing nothing but holding cecily close and kissing her. or at least wasting as much time as she'd let him get away with before she got frustrated and upped the ante.
he can't help but laugh a little at the noise she makes and the way she holds onto him. ] So impatient... [ he murmurs, teasing.
cullen pulls her closer til they're pressed together from shoulders to hips, and nips at her lower lip. he lets his thumbs slide under the hem of her shirt and leans in to kiss her again and--
the dog barks. ]
Oh, for-- [ he glares over cecily's shoulder at pup who is sitting a few feet away with his favorite stick at his feet. ] Really?
[ Varric said he would name their story This Shit is Weird: The Inquisitor Trevelyan Story, but a more apt title would be The Absolute Unluckiest Person in Thedas: The Inquisitor Trevelyan Story. Maybe she'd been thinking of the desk episode, about trying to maneuver them to their bedroom without breaking contact or getting injured, but that's all snapped from her mind with the bark. It somehow manages to surprise her and she jumps a little, fingers curling tight into the front of his clothes, swearing under her breath before turning around.
So much for that. But she wilts a little; though Cecily would usually be happy to ignore the creature and drag its master off elsewhere with a closed door between them, today... is somehow different. She hesitates, watching Pup as his tongue lolls happily from his mouth, taking in the discernible vibration of happiness at having not one, but two people (!!) with which to play. ]
... Oh, damn it. [ She releases Cullen with a long-suffered sigh, allowing a little distance between them, at least for now. Maybe he'll get bored and she can pick up again where they'd left off!
(The odds aren't with her, though). ]
All right, all right, you massive infant. [ The Inquisitor raises her eyebrows at the mabari, and then: ]
You. Later. [ Cecily says, almost as a warning, turning back to the commander with her eyebrows arched and a finger jabbed into his chest. ]
[ cecily may be incredibly annoyed by this turn of events (and, honestly, cullen is a little annoyed too) but her not-husband is smiling. grinning, actually. a wide one that makes his cheeks ache and takes a few years off his face.
why? well, he's just realized that his wife not only deals with being interrupted by a mabari well, but her first reaction is not to shoo pup away but indulge the dog. be still his massively fereldan heart. he's married the most incredible woman in the world. ]
We will definitely be picking this up later.
[ because he needs to show his appreciation and love for his beautiful, wonderful not-wife. ]
[ That grin manages to surprise her and she looks up at him with some suspicion, but doesn't bother to mask an amused smile of her own. ]
Something funny? [ She teases lightly, almost knowingly, but doesn't needle him over it. Instead, she crouches down to pick up the (wet, slimy) stick and stands, with Pup doing small laps around them in his enthusiasm. ]
Well, out we go. [ Cecily playfully hip checks Cullen as she passes by, stepping out the door with the dog at her heels. If she's going to be step parent (??) to a mabari, she might as well do it right. They didn't have intelligent, loyal hounds that imprinted on you in Ostwick and he's sweet enough to mollify her having lost out on some quality intimate moments.
Alas, here she is, tossing the stick into the distance and watching an enormous dog bound off after it. ]
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[ She starts forward when he enters, heart pounding. She's relieved to see him, exasperated that he's the first to apologize, scared to pieces that he may decide to pack up for good (which is irrational, isn't it?). The rarely-flustered Inquisitor averts her gaze, face reddening with the shame of it all. For the things that she said. For the things that she thought, that he never heard, that she would make sure he never, ever heard. ]
I'm so... so sorry. [ At least it hadn't come to blows; as much as she'd like to tell herself that it would never happen, the image of the pair of them resorting to some kind of violence, stubborn and angry, is imaginable. ] I said- ... I was hateful, and petty, and I don't know what came over me.
[ Not to mention highly dramatic. I told him to let me be killed.
Finally, she looks back up, anxieties spilling out into the way she's set her jaw and into her searching eyes. ]
I can move into the spare room. [ Cecily says quietly. ] Just... stay here. With us.
[ Please. ]
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even so, cullen won't surrender this. ]
No, you don't--if anyone should be moving it should be me.
[ he swallows hard and searches her face. for what, he's not exactly sure. reassurance that she won't turn him out on his ear? that this hasn't ruined their new-not-yet marriage? ]
We were neither of us in our right minds. You have nothing to be sorry for. And I--I would rather we stay together, if you will still have me.
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It isn't something she should allow herself, but Cecily gently tugs free from his hands to lean in and press her lips to his, lingering there for a moment before withdrawing and taking something from her pocket. When she raises her hand to show him, it's the coin he gave her, for luck, sitting in her palm. ]
I arrived with it. [ She says softly. ] And... I know - I've known this whole time - that you've just been trying to keep me from doing something stupid, or dangerous. Or both. I've never been very good at taking good advice.
[ Cecily looks up again after turning the coin over, carefully monitoring his expression, his reaction. ]
I would rather us stay together, too. [ She finishes. ] And for more than just your stopping me from being a bloody idiot.
[ The Inquisitor isn't very good with sentiment, but in this instance, it needs to be said. ]
I love you. And I'll make this right.
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I love you too, and you don't need to do anything. I forgive you.
[ reaching down, he curls his fingers over the hand holding branson's coin. it's a little silly, maybe, but the fact that cecily still has it with her is reassuring. and it warms his heart. ]
One thing I did say when we... when we fought was at least partially true--I don't mind you going out on your own. I would prefer it if you took someone else, if not me, but I know how good you are with that bow of yours. I don't want you to think that I doubt you, doubt your skill or your leadership.
[ because he doesn't. he's in awe of it most of the time, if he's honest. cullen could sit and watch her shoot things for quite a while, and not just because she has very nice shoulders. ]
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Don't go building me up now that I've been an ass. [ Cecily jabs him playfully in the chest, narrowing her eyes, smile still present, and playful. ] I can admit it when I'm wrong, dammit, no matter what people say.
[ ... But it means a lot, and he knows, which is likely why he said that. She'd never thought much of herself as a leader, but having his support as a partner and just as a person both means the world.
Cecily unfurls her hand and gently replaces the coin, back to safety. ]
People who're meant to be initiates aren't supposed to be off training with bows. [ She adds ruefully, clearing thinking of her time pre-Conclave. ] Aren't supposed to do much, really.
[ And they've got stricter vows, mister chastity optional. ]
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You were wasted on the Chantry.
[ and part of him is very glad that she was either too noble or too sneaky to have ended up recruited as a templar hunter. she would have been wasted there as well, but in a completely different way. ]
Though I can't say I'm not grateful to it for bringing you to me.
[ you know what, if they're gonna be sappy, he's just going to go all in. he had been bracing for the worst earlier, and now they've both resolved to stick together. that's more than a little relieving and deserves some sappiness. ]
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Cecily hums contentedly, raising her arms to wrap around his neck. ]
Yes, I'm so lucky to have been volunteered as a representative to the Conclave. [ She wrinkles her nose, still smiling, but there's a lot of complication behind the statement. Of course she's grateful, forever grateful to have been brought into the fold of the Inquisition, to have met the people she had, to finally find a place in the world that she didn't completely abhor. Still, there's the issue of the explosion that was meant to have killed her along with everyone else, the damage that trailed along after the anchor, and, least of all, her being unused to a position of leadership where people were, for some reason, looking up to her. ]
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instead of replying, he leans down and kisses her softly, slowly. partially as a distraction and partially because he just likes kissing her. a lot. and he's missed it. so much so that he's apparently forgotten both the dog that has tottered off somewhere and the fact that they live with dorian and thom, either of whom could hypothetically wander in and interrupt what should be a private moment. ]
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The kiss is languid, almost painfully so, and she has to wonder if he's doing it on purpose. After going a while without the contact, she admits a needy, almost frustrated nose, snaking a hand around his neck to keep him close. She won't rush it because it's good, but it's hard not to tug him downward with a more demanding gesture.
Eh. She likes kissing him, too. A lot. ]
i should probably apologize for this.
he can't help but laugh a little at the noise she makes and the way she holds onto him. ] So impatient... [ he murmurs, teasing.
cullen pulls her closer til they're pressed together from shoulders to hips, and nips at her lower lip. he lets his thumbs slide under the hem of her shirt and leans in to kiss her again and--
the dog barks. ]
Oh, for-- [ he glares over cecily's shoulder at pup who is sitting a few feet away with his favorite stick at his feet. ] Really?
a plague upon your house
So much for that. But she wilts a little; though Cecily would usually be happy to ignore the creature and drag its master off elsewhere with a closed door between them, today... is somehow different. She hesitates, watching Pup as his tongue lolls happily from his mouth, taking in the discernible vibration of happiness at having not one, but two people (!!) with which to play. ]
... Oh, damn it. [ She releases Cullen with a long-suffered sigh, allowing a little distance between them, at least for now. Maybe he'll get bored and she can pick up again where they'd left off!
(The odds aren't with her, though). ]
All right, all right, you massive infant. [ The Inquisitor raises her eyebrows at the mabari, and then: ]
You. Later. [ Cecily says, almost as a warning, turning back to the commander with her eyebrows arched and a finger jabbed into his chest. ]
heh.
why? well, he's just realized that his wife not only deals with being interrupted by a mabari well, but her first reaction is not to shoo pup away but indulge the dog. be still his massively fereldan heart. he's married the most incredible woman in the world. ]
We will definitely be picking this up later.
[ because he needs to show his appreciation and love for his beautiful, wonderful not-wife. ]
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Something funny? [ She teases lightly, almost knowingly, but doesn't needle him over it. Instead, she crouches down to pick up the (wet, slimy) stick and stands, with Pup doing small laps around them in his enthusiasm. ]
Well, out we go. [ Cecily playfully hip checks Cullen as she passes by, stepping out the door with the dog at her heels. If she's going to be step parent (??) to a mabari, she might as well do it right. They didn't have intelligent, loyal hounds that imprinted on you in Ostwick and he's sweet enough to mollify her having lost out on some quality intimate moments.
Alas, here she is, tossing the stick into the distance and watching an enormous dog bound off after it. ]